Re-Evaluating Peacocking - centaur

Subject: Re-Evaluating Peacocking

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I have noticed that most of the guys I see in the field who are really successful with women are seldom peacocked much. Usually a nice white linen shirt and some designer jeans, or maybe a more "urban" look with manicured facial hair, an oversized golf shirt, and a little ghetto-fabulous bling. In short, they're dressed well but not flashy. Personally, I've found that I often get better reactions if I don't peacock at all.

After a lot of observation in the field, I've come to the conclusion that when girls see even a moderately peacocked dude by himself, their "playdar" goes off instantly and they throw the shields up. You might get opened by a couple of horny women (which is great, if you happen to be attracted to them--often they'll be ugly), but the HV women frequently won't even give you the time of day unless you somehow bust through an iron bitch shield. In this context, the classic PUA peacocking is counterproductive because people will also notice that you're not with a group and must therefore be some lame guy who's trying too hard to get laid. You need to be with a group of other peacocked guys to really make that sort of heavy peacocking work for you, IMO. If you're not great at getting instant social proof, your flash turns into social poison.

The only times I see peacocking really working for guys is when it fits neatly into a stereotype. For all the talk about how the importance of peacocking is to stand out, the most successful "peacocking" is when guys stand out by pulling off a stereotyped look better than everybody else in the room.

An example: On Saturday night I went out, dressed nicely but not really peacocked. I did well early in the night before my state crashed. At the club I went to, there were guys there in costume as Indians who were with some sort of party. The Indians stood out and were attractive, outgoing, fit young guys with rippling muscles, good BL, and all kinds of social proof going for them, but girls had little interest. However, there was a tall, handsome white guy (maybe an 8 in terms of physical looks) who showed up dressed as if he'd just raided 50 Cent's closet, and he accented this with a gaudy silver crucifix around his neck and a couple of matching rings. SHB opened him left and right as he stood there calmly talking to a couple of friends.

This led to a revelation for me. I thought back to all the guys I've known or seen at clubs who women drooled over. They weren't always dressed flashy or even stylishly, but the one thing they all had in common is that you could get a pretty clear idea of who these guys were and what they were all about just by looking at them. They did this by taking a stereotypical, easily identifiable look and doing it in a way that was well put together and looked authentic on them. Whether it was the irreverent punk rocker, the hardcore metal guy, the streetwise hip hop dude, the fun fratboy, free-spirited hippie, athletic jock, cool bohemian starving artist... all of them pulled off a look that instantly told women "here is who I am and here is what I offer you." There was hardly ever any jewelry or props involved. The image spoke for itself as an instant DVH. A level of rapport, comfort, and attraction was there before these guys even opened their mouths.

This is a concept that advertisers milk constantly. Just flip through any magazine and you'll see it, plain as day.
This, I think, is what really constitutes effective peacocking. After Mystery's show on VH1, people have picked up his term "avatar" in reference to the image that a PUA tries to project. That avatar is not nearly stressed enough and it is MUCH more important than obvious attempts to "stand out" by dressing gaudily or decking ourselves out in shiny accessories. If you get the avatar together, you'll stand out because of the "interesting" personality you convey without coming off as a Try Hard PUA in platform boots with a neon sign around his neck.

Now, a few words of caution are in order about this "avatar." It has to be something that's congruent for you. If you're 50 years old and have no clue about hip hop, don't try to dress like you do. Cultivate an image that fits you. No, hopefully you're not such a simple creature that every aspect of your personality can be summed up in some cookie cutter fashion statement, but girls want to feel like they sort of know you before you approach. It greatly reduces BS.

The second thing to keep in mind is that this avatar will also affect the type of women you attract. If you dress like a hippie, you'll get hippie chicks but you'll be persona non grata at a trendy dance club. Goth girls often require their mates to be goth themselves, but dressing so will screen out that All American Cheerleader from Biology that you've had your eye on. You've got choices to make if you're going to go down this road.

Third is that this is not an excuse to look boring. The examples I mentioned all work because the personalities they convey are still exciting to women. No woman wants the "boring average guy," and you still want to pull your chosen style off better than anyone else she's going to see. This is how you DHV visually and set yourself apart from the "wannabes" (ie guys whose avatars are incongruent, weak, or try-hard). You might be the fun fratboy looking to score the hot sorority babe, but you need to do it better than the other 12 fratboys directly in front of her. Wearing a ring or belt buckle is not the answer. Wearing the better overall clothes, being better groomed, and projecting the identity is.

Thoughts, opinions, and criticism are welcome.

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